fragile strength

I would like to be fearless …

if anything I think this is the motto of this life of mine.

I would like to not slay the dragons but tame them (as much as you can tame any wild thing) and ride them to places I could never arrive without them.  I think it would be foolish to assume that anyone can live a life without at least one dragon at his back.I feel fragile, but my life would seem to suggest I have strength to have traveled the road I have. I sometimes think I have to choose… fragile or strong. But today, an unraveling has occurred. As with any unraveling there springs forth the possibility to create a new thing out of what would seem to be best left forgotten…

We are beautifully fragile, and some how in that fragility our strength finds its depth. We all want to be free; to ride the wave of what in our world allows us to abandon the unnecessary shackles of our mind and walk the world as we hope to be at the end of this life. We tend to live in those shackled boundaries though, with their limits that keep us tethered wild things… the fears, phobias, responsibilities, social mores which tends to keep us from that place of boundlessness. We are tethered by these ideas, we are led astray by judgments, we find ourselves bound to someone or something out of a sense that “I must” without checking it against ourselves. And in this restraint we so often feel a sense of loss or even pain, an ache for what is more true.; a bird with clipped wings as it were.

…Freedom… just to be……


Yet, we can move the world with just an idea, the visions from our soul, and with this so easily lift the shackles of limitation. We are also boundless in the state of fearlessness that propels us when we are in our “element”. When you hit this sweet spot in life it is as if you can feel the fabric of your world expand…  I suppose feeling those limits drift away (whether is be surfing, teaching, painting or using a chainsaw to carve out statues),  that is the reason we return again and again to the activity…. We some-how finally see ourselves, and our world with clarity. The transitory nature of these moments is our fragility….but the impermanence also makes us more grateful and aware of  the more true moments.

Myself, I find that this ache for freedom leads to inner conversations about…  I “should “… I “need to” …. But I “WANT“…… and the opposing forces do battle with my free will. This little war rages until one side wins out and finally action is taken. Then I either continue on as I always have, I find perhaps a new possibility, or in my more wise moments, I relent and wait to understand… I reach out into the great beyond and ask for guidance or simply comfort (if that is all that is to be found….).

My vulnerability/my little cage of fear is what forces me to reach into the freedom of muse and beyond into the timeless beauty of all things, into a strength which cannot be bound…..
At least until a new battle is begun…
Beautiful, fragile strength…. How can God not have a sense of humor with an oxy-moron like that?

My wish for you today is that you might ride your muse or go beyond; but either way, enjoy the ride…..

                                         -ME-