Late at night

I find myself here late tonight thinking of my past and worrying about my future. Knowing neither of which will do me a bit of good. What has recently come up is that I lost myself in a major way a long time ago and the way I thought about myself changed then too. I was a different person before and after the events that transpired that altered everything. I wondered to myself how one changes their mind about who they are and regains something that was lost. I don't have an answer yet, though I intend to mull it over until I do. How to recapture a butterfly or at least become the butterfly instead of the captor. An analogy that perhaps will only make sense to me.
What we do have is the small assurance that there will be a tomorrow and during that day perhaps I will finally answer my own questions. It is not who am I but how do I become myself again that is being sought here. Something lost but still here? Is that even possible.