I decided after careful thought on some things to make a second post today. I have been reflecting on how in my relationships with people (lovers, family, friends), I always tried to shield them or take on their burdens out of sheer love for them and not wanting them to suffer. I always thought to myself that I was strong enough to handle whatever it was and if I could I would save them from it. And it was done out of a beautiful place full of love and hope for them, done out of sheer compassion. My function in people's lives I realized over the last few months, is not to take on their burdens or to save them. My function is to stand beside them, encourage them and give them a hand to hold should they need it while THEY heal themselves or struggle. I do not have to demonstrate my love for them through taking on what they are in fact able to handle given the right support. We do not have to save the world around us, we have to love them enough to provide them the love they deserve while they save themselves. We don't have to take on their burdens which are not ours to bear and will strip us of our energy, causing us our own level of suffering. We can allow them to show up as imperfect, probably still very much a work in progress, and hold space for them while they heal or overcome.
For me that was a big thing, allowing myself to show up perfectly imperfect over the last nine months. If you follow astrology you might say it was my Virgo moon demanding perfection or my Aquarius rising feeling out of place in the world already and wanting to be accepted... It really doesn't matter what the perceived reasons for it were, I felt like I had to be on point all day every day to be in someone's life. I held myself to standards I would not hold others to in this way as well. But when I saw the imbalance between my expectations for myself and that of others I realized I didn't have to be "ready" for anything the world was going to throw at me. I realized all I had to do was show up the way I am now with total willingness to face my pain, my past, and heal when it was time to do so. I couldn't be prepared for every possible event or expectation of the world anyway, I am a human being it is an impossibility for me. The Divine kept whispering "You don't have to be perfect, you just have to show up and be willing!" .
The idea there is EVER better weather than right now to allow life or love to unfold is a fallacy. It is an incomplete understanding to believe that to be our best versions, to help the world heal, to fulfill our purpose of bringing in the light, we have to do more or BE more than we are in this moment. Seeing the world or ourselves as needing more time or needing to be more equipped in this way, it is just the ego, the mind, our own fear, or our own wounding delaying what it is we really want or need. It keeps putting limitations on how the universe says we or others are supposed to show up in our life. It creates tests and hoops we and others have to jump through to prove they are ready for us, we are ready for them, or they/we can have what we want. It is the mind maintaining control of the how, who, where and when of what we want versus our setting the intention for our lives and then dropping the need to control the outcome. All we really need to do in these instances is allow, just allow. We need to remember three things when we get into the mental trap of "ready" and "perfection"... There is never a better time than NOW (because that is all there ever is), perfection is not a human experience - it is a divine one, and the universe knows what it is doing.
So as I show up today in people's lives, I welcome their imperfections because theirs allow me mine. I hope that I am allowed to come into someone's life still needing a little work, a little healing and a hand to hold while I do it as well. And when I find my personal version of perfect for me I hope he can be that hand because I know there is a man my soul remembers from a thousand lifetimes. There is a man full of compassion and love that wants every heart to be free of all its pain. There is a man who would love so much he might do as I have done and take on a burden that does not belong to him just because he wouldn't want me to suffer, and he is strong enough. I know there is a man out there my soul hears in the stillness of the night and my heart feels wash over me throughout the day. And I hope wherever he is he is willing to embrace the unfolding of the process when we meet. He can embrace that I am still a work in progress and not see it as a need for better weather. I hope he is willing to suspend disbelief, drop resistance and allow, just allow.
For me that was a big thing, allowing myself to show up perfectly imperfect over the last nine months. If you follow astrology you might say it was my Virgo moon demanding perfection or my Aquarius rising feeling out of place in the world already and wanting to be accepted... It really doesn't matter what the perceived reasons for it were, I felt like I had to be on point all day every day to be in someone's life. I held myself to standards I would not hold others to in this way as well. But when I saw the imbalance between my expectations for myself and that of others I realized I didn't have to be "ready" for anything the world was going to throw at me. I realized all I had to do was show up the way I am now with total willingness to face my pain, my past, and heal when it was time to do so. I couldn't be prepared for every possible event or expectation of the world anyway, I am a human being it is an impossibility for me. The Divine kept whispering "You don't have to be perfect, you just have to show up and be willing!" .
The idea there is EVER better weather than right now to allow life or love to unfold is a fallacy. It is an incomplete understanding to believe that to be our best versions, to help the world heal, to fulfill our purpose of bringing in the light, we have to do more or BE more than we are in this moment. Seeing the world or ourselves as needing more time or needing to be more equipped in this way, it is just the ego, the mind, our own fear, or our own wounding delaying what it is we really want or need. It keeps putting limitations on how the universe says we or others are supposed to show up in our life. It creates tests and hoops we and others have to jump through to prove they are ready for us, we are ready for them, or they/we can have what we want. It is the mind maintaining control of the how, who, where and when of what we want versus our setting the intention for our lives and then dropping the need to control the outcome. All we really need to do in these instances is allow, just allow. We need to remember three things when we get into the mental trap of "ready" and "perfection"... There is never a better time than NOW (because that is all there ever is), perfection is not a human experience - it is a divine one, and the universe knows what it is doing.
So as I show up today in people's lives, I welcome their imperfections because theirs allow me mine. I hope that I am allowed to come into someone's life still needing a little work, a little healing and a hand to hold while I do it as well. And when I find my personal version of perfect for me I hope he can be that hand because I know there is a man my soul remembers from a thousand lifetimes. There is a man full of compassion and love that wants every heart to be free of all its pain. There is a man who would love so much he might do as I have done and take on a burden that does not belong to him just because he wouldn't want me to suffer, and he is strong enough. I know there is a man out there my soul hears in the stillness of the night and my heart feels wash over me throughout the day. And I hope wherever he is he is willing to embrace the unfolding of the process when we meet. He can embrace that I am still a work in progress and not see it as a need for better weather. I hope he is willing to suspend disbelief, drop resistance and allow, just allow.
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