So much of the self reflection that happens when you decide you are done battling a war against yourself has to do with fighting your own demons. And the truth is there are days it doesn't seem worth it, the fight with those wounded places inside your heart and your mind seems like its own endless battle, and you just get tired (because after all you have been fighting your war against yourself for so long and then came the fight to get out from under your own limitations). There is this idea or philosophy if you will, and I am sure at some point I read a version of what I am about to say somewhere... The light does not have to go to war with the darkness, it simply invites the darkness into its self.
Maybe the stance that you are, I am "fighting" is an inaccurate perspective. Maybe it is not so much that we must subdue the limitations or wounded bits or the fear, maybe, just maybe we only acknowledge its presence, embrace it being there and bring it with us into the version of that part of ourselves we want to be. So the scattered bits of me afraid to let people love me, and see me I can not just perceive that they are there but really appreciate their place in my life that at one time served my wellbeing. I can recognize it not as something to overcome or remedy because it proves I can't do what I need to do right now, which is trust. Instead I can bring the fear of love into the fullness of my desire to have that love and use the idea, the passion and hunger for the experience of love to enable me to feel how while the fear may indeed be there the thirst for it can not be quenched if I choose the fear over everything else.
Perception and awareness are key, they either allow us what it is we want or they deny it. If there is no war, if the only real act taken in this journey is one of choosing the focus of your thoughts, your deeds and which emotions you will feed through these choices I think perhaps winning is inevitable. It is inevitable precisely because you are NOT at war any longer, you are simply at choice.
Maybe the stance that you are, I am "fighting" is an inaccurate perspective. Maybe it is not so much that we must subdue the limitations or wounded bits or the fear, maybe, just maybe we only acknowledge its presence, embrace it being there and bring it with us into the version of that part of ourselves we want to be. So the scattered bits of me afraid to let people love me, and see me I can not just perceive that they are there but really appreciate their place in my life that at one time served my wellbeing. I can recognize it not as something to overcome or remedy because it proves I can't do what I need to do right now, which is trust. Instead I can bring the fear of love into the fullness of my desire to have that love and use the idea, the passion and hunger for the experience of love to enable me to feel how while the fear may indeed be there the thirst for it can not be quenched if I choose the fear over everything else.
Perception and awareness are key, they either allow us what it is we want or they deny it. If there is no war, if the only real act taken in this journey is one of choosing the focus of your thoughts, your deeds and which emotions you will feed through these choices I think perhaps winning is inevitable. It is inevitable precisely because you are NOT at war any longer, you are simply at choice.
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