Right now I am learning to follow my inner guidance to what the next step in my life is. This is an act of absolute surrender for me because I like lists, planning, and certainties. So for me to choose to follow the still small voice of my heart/inner knowing/soul/divine guidance to do this thing or that, which at times seems random or absurd even, is an act of concentrated will. I have had "faith" in something beyond myself that has better vision and more truth than I do for a long time but it has not been until the beginning of this year that I started working on my need to drop the demand to control the outcome or even to know what the outcome is. I became aware I had to take just the very next step and trust, allow, surrender any control. My "job" became to show up, be my truth (who I really am without pretenses or personas, honestly, and from a place of compassion for others), take action from a place of respect for what that truth is and move on to the next step placed before me without knowing already what I just did or said or how IwIwho I was was going to turn out in the end.
This is HARD, it requires me to flex my mental muscles and my spiritual ones because I can get waaayyy too deep into my head space trying to predict outcomes and reactions (it is my go to when I am nervous or feel out of control or feel confused). My mind has the capacity to both liberate me through understanding deeper truths but also to be my own self imposed prison and because of this fact my actively engaging in disengaging from my natural tendency to do all of the predicting has stretched me to the edge at times. But being pushed into uncharted territory is a good thing on this journey of our lives I think. Going into places mentally, and with our actions we have not gone before is necessary if we want to change our lives and gain new experiences.
So, every day I follow the little bread crumbs left for me on my path, little signs and urgings that direct me to just that one next footfall, that one next post or comment or truth I place on the shores of the ocean of life, and I release that message in a bottle, hoping it gets to where it is supposed to go. I just go with the outflow of what the heart and the soul asks me to be.
This is HARD, it requires me to flex my mental muscles and my spiritual ones because I can get waaayyy too deep into my head space trying to predict outcomes and reactions (it is my go to when I am nervous or feel out of control or feel confused). My mind has the capacity to both liberate me through understanding deeper truths but also to be my own self imposed prison and because of this fact my actively engaging in disengaging from my natural tendency to do all of the predicting has stretched me to the edge at times. But being pushed into uncharted territory is a good thing on this journey of our lives I think. Going into places mentally, and with our actions we have not gone before is necessary if we want to change our lives and gain new experiences.
So, every day I follow the little bread crumbs left for me on my path, little signs and urgings that direct me to just that one next footfall, that one next post or comment or truth I place on the shores of the ocean of life, and I release that message in a bottle, hoping it gets to where it is supposed to go. I just go with the outflow of what the heart and the soul asks me to be.
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